YEAR 3, HERE I COME!

Two years ago today, I moved to the pearl of the Caribbean. I set off for a life changing adventure to a culture, people, and language I had yet to really know. I didn't exactly understand what I was getting myself into, but I was excited for what God had in store.

Since the moment I stepped off the plane and into my new home, my world has been flipped upside down. Now, two years later, I better understand the culture, I have incredible friendships, and I can speak the language (well, sorta). My faith is stronger, my eyes see things differently, my heart beats to a newer rhythm, and my soul feels a whole lot deeper. I am in love with the students I get to serve. Although it's been a rough ride filled with heartbreak, stress, and a whole lot of humbling, I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

I'm honored that the Father chose me to live this life, that he decided I am the one who gets to love these students, that I get to witness his faithfulness in unimaginable ways.

I'm excited and hopeful for what lies ahead as I follow Jesus into another year. Year three, here I come!

ARE YOU WILLING?

"The Christian life is a journey to the greatest joy that exists. But 'the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few' (Matthew 7:14) Why is that? Because, paradoxically, in order to pursue our greatest joy, we must deny ourselves." – Jon Bloom

As I looked out at the kiddos playing in the school yard, God started speaking to my heart about willingness.

He asked in his still small voice, "Are you willing to stay forever?" 

He assured my anxious mind that he's not asking me to stay forever; he just wants to know how willing I am to follow him wholeheartedly. How willing I am to fully depend upon him no matter what happens, no matter where he leads.

I said yes to living in Haiti with an end date in mind, but am I willing to loosen my tight grip around the idea of a timeframe? Am I willing to let go and trust God with full assurance that he is working out all things for my good? Am I willing to let go of things I desire in order to glorify the one who gave me life? 

The answer is yes. Sometimes, I wish I was a little less willing so I could go back to a more "comfortable" life with less heartbreak, stress, and mosquito bites. However, a life poured out for Jesus' sake is undeniably worth it, and I am more than thankful for this wild adventure towards eternity with him.

Jesus said it himself, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?" (Mark 8)

Thankfully, I trust that God is who he says he is. No matter where I go, what I do, and when I do it, he is faithfully working it all out for my ultimate good according to his perfect plan. Denying myself, taking up my cross, and following him is my best option. So, I'm going to stick with that no matter the cost.

OUT OF DARKNESS

co-written with Kristi Bucher

Every once in a while in life, you meet a soul unlike any other. One that makes you wish you where a little more like them, and that somehow after spending time with them, a bit of their sweetness will rub off on you. Manita is one of those people. She possesses the kindest and most gentle soul with a heart so unbelievably in love with Jesus. 

As a child growing up in the village of Cabaret, Manita would dance at voodoo ceremonies. She worshipped Satan, the same as the rest of her family. She didn’t know any differently.

Then Manita started attending Grace Emmanuel School in 2005. Her family had heard of a new, free school for their daughter to attend and enrolled Manita in 2nd grade at the age of 10.

At Grace Emmanuel School Manita heard about Jesus. She remembers a man named Manela who would lead devotions every day for all the students. It was during one of these devotions in 2009 that she made the decision to follow Christ. She had seen death in voodoo, but in Jesus, she found life. She says it was by the grace of God that she became a Christian.

A few years ago, Manita’s family moved to Bon Repos and she almost had to quit school because of the daily cost to travel the distance. Staff encouraged her to continue and assured her God would provide, and He has proved faithful.

Now 21 years old and in 12th grade, Manita expects to graduate next year (high school in Haiti goes through 13th grade) and would like to study to become a pediatrician. She is a quiet leader of the whole student body. She sings beautifully, stays out of trouble, and is always near the top of her class.

I ask Manita if I can visit one day as we are driving to Bon Repos from school. She leads me to the two-room wooden structure where she lives with her mom, uncle, his wife, and their three children. She shares a full-size bed with her mother in a small room also shared with her three young cousins.

Her mom is not home, and Manita tells me she will be at the local market selling beans until dusk.

Seven years after putting her faith in Christ, Manita is the only Christian in her family. Her mom still believes in Satan and practices voodoo.

I ask her if this is hard. “I used to talk to my family about Jesus and tell them that He is coming back, but they won’t believe. I tell my mom that Jesus loves her and wants to give her life. My mom says she wants to believe in Jesus, but she still hasn’t.”

Curious about her father, I ask about him. She says he used to practice voodoo as well. In 2006, he became very ill and bed-ridden. Because of this, neighbors came to visit and shared the gospel with him. Before dying in 2007, he gave his life to Christ.

I leave her home encouraged. Manita’s story is one that speaks of bright light in the midst of darkness. What Satan meant for destruction, Jesus meant for life! What a wonderful reminder that the enemy has no dominion over who belongs to Him.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light” (1 Peter 2:9). 

A month or so after I visit her home, I receive word that her mother is ill and needs to go to the doctor. She is in a lot of pain and cannot walk because of her inability to move her left arm or leg. I feel in my heart that I am called to lend a helping hand. After a few trips to a nearby clinic, we find out she is suffering from paralysis due to hypertension. Her elderly body is literally wasting away. 

Myself and many others who know the situation continue to pray with expectation. We are confident that God, according to his perfect will, has the ability to heal both physically and spiritually. 

A few weeks go by and I receive the greatest news of all. After spending a lifetime practicing voodoo and worshiping Satan, her mother has finally given her life to Christ! She may not be healed physically, but she has been saved from the dominion of darkness! As Manita put it, "all the glory belongs to God!"

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16)

A LOFTY PRIVILEGE

"To enter into loving people and possible loss, is to enter into suffering, to enter into the daily hurts and heartaches. To soldier on well we must have an understanding of suffering or we will let it overwhelm us and stomp out God’s goodness, and then we become a martyr rather than an overcomer." -- Sarita Hartz

Jesus promised pain and suffering. Paul suffered. Mary suffered. Peter suffered. Stephen suffered. Jesus himself suffered. Must I continue?

I gather this: I cannot live a gospel-motived life without suffering. Yes, maybe there will be seasons where suffering doesn't seem so dang prevalent. But in reality, it will come. 

For some, it may never leave. 

So wether I am stuck in the hot, dusty valley, climbing up the never-ending mountain in the blazing sun, or working my way back down the mountain (which is must easier than the original climb, but still a tedious task as you must work hard not to tumble down to the bottom), suffering is inevitable.

But that doesn't mean I have permission to sulk in a self-pity filled, woe-is-me, negative Nancy kind of attitude. 

Again, Sarita puts is perfectly:

"Expect that there will be pain in this life and in what you do for the Kingdom. Decide that you won’t let it make you a martyr. Decide to not let the unfairness of this life make you bitter. You will face the disappointments and rise, because you know ultimately all things do work together for the good of those who love Him. He is working out the beautiful tapestry of your life in ways you can’t even imagine. He knows everything you need to fulfill your call. He doesn’t waste a single one of your tears. I believe He has a bottle in Heaven of each tear I’ve cried. He will not waste any of your suffering or any opportunity to shape it for your good and for the good of many others."

Thankfully, amidst the trials, Jesus has promised that he'll never, ever leave or forsake us. We overcome because he already overcame. No matter what kind of terrain I find myself on, I can rest assured that my suffering is not in vain. In fact, I should count it as a lofty privilege to suffer for Jesus' name sake. I am a warrior on the frontline of battle! As Paul puts it, "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us."

(If you haven't read a blog post from Sarita Hartz, you're missing out. If you are a missionary, going to be, was at one point, or just want to understand a missionary better, go and read her stuff. She says all the things I don't have words for and deeply encourages my soul.)

NEVER, EVER FORGET

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory."

Over the weekend, we celebrated the death and resurrection of Jesus. Many times, I had to fight back the tears as I thought about the goodness of our God. Jesus, in all his glory, humbled himself by coming to earth to sacrifice himself for the sinner (a.k.a. all of us).

"For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."

This was the most perfect sacrifice. Now, we are not saved by perfecting the law or the bloody and tedious task of sacrificing animals; we are saved by our mere belief in the risen Son of God. We reap the benefits of his miraculous death and resurrection due only to his love for us. We have done nothing to deserve or earn it. We were chosen before time, adopted as his own. And there's nothing, absolutely nothing, that can separate us from this unmeasurable love.

I, a sinful woman, am now counted as righteous. "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." I've gone from slave to free, broken to renewed, lost to found - all because of the blood shed on the cross over 2,000 years ago. 

This moment in history is on the calendar to be celebrated once a year, but that same moment should be what drives us all to our knees daily. The King of kings came down and rescued us all! We, undeserved, broken humans, are deemed spotless in the presence of God.

May we never, ever forget that. 

However, his saving grace never promised a life of bliss (maybe that's what we'll get when we arrive in Heaven). He actually promised quite the opposite. We WILL suffer, we WILL face trials of many kinds. But thankfully for us, Jesus claimed victory over this life. In him, we have already won! 

"In the world you will have tribulation, but take heart, I have overcome the world!"

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison."

So, may this incredible truth not only be celebrated once a year, but spur us to live daily with a zeal that cannot be contained. Amen.